top of page
New Newspaper Background.jpg

Lifestyle & Entertainment

 Grocery executive denies record profits.

carriagebook_edited.jpg

Bob Probert Bridge finally set to open. 

bridgerbridgebob_edited.jpg

Single guy who mostly just watches old Dick Cavett shows, still single. 

cavett_edited.jpg

Leafs to open next season against the Bonnyville Ladybugs. 

leafs suck_edited.jpg

Artemis II crew “Just gonna chill in space” until Earth gets its shit together. 

artemis_edited.jpg

France files Human Rights abuse charge after humiliating 10-2 loss 

FRENCH LOSS_edited.jpg

U.S. Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn fractures leg, will be humanely destroyed. 

vonn book_edited.jpg

 Greenland gifted free access to Neil Young catalogue. Greenland thankful… but hoping for some happier tunes.

youngbleak_edited.jpg

 Netflix buys CBC for storage.

netflix cbc_edited.jpg

Experts split over authenticity of ‘Titanic watch.’ 

tit watch_edited.jpg

Jays blame lingering melancholy over Diane Keaton’s passing for World Series defeat. 

keaton jays_edited.jpg

Rush adds Orion’s Belt and Andromeda tour dates. 

RUSHBOOK_edited.jpg

America’s top comics flee oppressive government censorship to perform in Saudi Arabia. 

ryhad_edited.jpg

Local man in eighteenth straight hour of ‘Shark Week’ dealing with some dark personal shit. 

shark week_edited.jpg

Culturally progressive man reports feelings of guilt about inability to stop masturbating over Sydney Sweeney jeans ad. 

syd ad_edited.jpg

 New Ramone discovered!

ramonesbook_edited.jpg

Cezanne’s ‘Pears with Stickers’ sells for record 225 million. 

Grocery Stickers 2 book_edited.jpg

Toronto man walks 3 city blocks without seeing a Dollarama, becomes disoriented. 

dollar ache.jpg

Leafs lose tee time to older, tougher golfers from Florida. 

leaf golf_edited.jpg

Excitement builds for tainted Romaine season. 

lettuce time_edited.jpg

Scientists hopeful they'll find loving ‘forever home’ for Dire Wolf they cranked out. 

wolf book_edited.jpg
canadianer banner 4.jpg
  • White Facebook Icon

Subscribe to notifications and more!

Thanks for subscribing!

Wesbite Header Aug 19.jpg
bottom of page