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Just jokes, folks.

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Page 3

Poilievre found twitching in glue trap. “Squeaking became unbearable” say neighbours.

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25% ‘measle tariff’ goes into effect at midnight.

Ottawa announces state of the art high-speed rail, to be built long after you’re dead.

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‘American credibility’ to be included at Oscars - In Memoriam segment.

Hegseth says Ukraine can join NATO if it can out-drink him.

MAGA wannabe crushed by falling chunk of irony.

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Canada appoints Burton Cummings as ‘fentanyl czar.’

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Canada turns off Bronzer pipeline, Trump lifts tariffs.

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Trump blames figure skating for air disaster.

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Trump deports Giant pandas.

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Chilly snap forces Trump inauguration indoors as BBQ season starts in Canada.

West Edmonton Mall to become Trump-themed fun park.

Mark Carney expected to announce Liberal leadership bid, and that your cat died.

Canada dispatches ‘Littlest Hobo’ to bite Trump in the nuts.

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War victims living in rubble most concerned about Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni feud.

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“Many Canadians want Canada to be 51st State” just a guy in Barrie who wants the good Netflix.

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