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Canada turns off Bronzer pipeline, Trump lifts tariffs.

Ottawa -
“Obviously most Americans, including President Trump, are unaware that they import 99.9% of their skin bronzer from Northern Saskatchewan. There’s so much bronzer up there it pools on the topsoil. Of course, Canadians don’t use it, we don’t have a fragile sense of ourselves, but we do know there is a direct pipeline into the White House, so we nipped this whole thing in the bud. We had no choice, we didn’t want to but we knew a protracted trade war would be harmful to both our countries.” Said a spokesperson for the PM’s office. Trump was quick to thank Canada and signed a bill that would ensure he takes his greasy head out of his ass before he thinks he can push around a sovereign nation.

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