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 Canada appoints Burton Cummings as ‘fentanyl czar.’
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Ottawa -

 

There was only one clear choice...and it was made. After reaching an agreement with Donald Trump, Canada agreed to swiftly put into place many actions to stop the trickle of fentanyl into the U.S. Including the appointment of a ‘fentanyl czar’ There was no argument among officials. The federal government shone the special Cummings signal into the night sky, and Canada’s greatest secret weapon showed up to serve his country. “He has the moustache, so it was a natural fit.” Said a security officer. “When Canada has been in crisis it can always count on its loyal son, and very experienced drug expert, to stand on guard.” American officials are said to be delighted with the pick and have also asked for a matinee performance of ‘Star Baby’. Cummings himself told a relieved nation... ”Far out!”

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