Toronto -

 

“It was like being on the moon all of a sudden!” Said a dizzy, Michael Kerminson. “I realized my entire sense of direction and bearing has been based around the location of Dollaramas!” After found wandering on Queen West, Kerminson was picked up by local authorities and rushed to an orientation clinic. “We see this all the time.” Said a caregiver at the clinic. “People are lost without knowing there is somewhere to buy cheap garbage bags and discounted cleaning products nearby, it’s quite a phenomenon.” Kerminson was later released in Brampton where the Dollarama to citizen ratio is at its highest. “It’ll take a while to re-adjust, but we’ve seen this before, he’ll be okay.”