Washington -

 

At a press conference earlier today, the U.S. President told reporters that he actually passed away from multiple organ failures sometime in 2024. “I can’t recall exactly when, we’re looking into it, but I am the undead, undead and unstoppable, never been anyone more dead than me, it’s really something special.” While many are skeptical of the claim, political pundits say it does explain his recent poorly thought out global strategies. “You can’t stop the undead and that’s me. Biden was a terrible President because he was almost dead, but I’m undead, greatest zombie President ever!” Doctors at Walter Reed Hospital were unavailable for comment as they were busy fleeing the U.S. for safe haven in a democratic country.