Calgary -

 

With his popularity waning and doubts about his leadership abilities growing, Pierre Poilievre is taking a new route to popularity... letting himself be dunked into frigid water by jeering locals. “When you think about it, it’s more dignified than embracing and emulating MAGA!” Said one Conservative strategist. “Plus, they didn’t need any servers at the beer tent so our options were kind of limited.” Poilievre is delivering policy initiatives in between dunkings, and if you can hit the bull’s-eye and plunge him while he’s blithering about the former Liberal government, you get to throw again. Poilievre is currently waiting to run for a seat in the riding of Battle River – Crowfoot, Alberta. A riding so Conservative that a Conservative would win even if that Conservative were a corpse. That is, of course, if voters haven’t been wiped out by measles.