Ottawa -

 

“Hey thanks for checking in!” Said a happy and slightly overweight, Kevin Brosseau. “I have to admit, I thought there would be more to do but the phone has rung like zero times. But hey I finally nailed the master level of this fucker!” On February 11th, then Prime Minister Trudeau appointed Brosseau, a former RCMP officer and security adviser to fill the role of ‘Fentanyl Czar’, largely as an attempt to quell criticism from Donald Trump who accused Canada of being a major importer of the drug to the U.S. Brosseau appeared slightly glazed but still committed to stemming the flow of Fentanyl. “I can’t say I’ve really been contacted much, I mean, I like this job and I get to stay in these cool digs but I can’t help but feel maybe it was all a bit for show… have you heard anything about what’s been going on?”