Edmonton -

 

Appearing like a sudden red, bumpy, swollen rash, a new political force is gaining popularity in Wild Rose country. The Measle Party are raising funds faster than any of their provincial counterparts. “Maybe Ottawa will listen when they’re all feverish and pimply!” Said Clyde Booner, founder of the fledgling party that received official party status after threatening local officials. “Damn it, Alberta is number one is Measles and the rest of the country is way behind! Ottawa is dragging its feet as usual, time for action!” The new party seems intent on Alberta independence within Canada, and has a very strict, ‘no needles’ policy. “We’ll control our own minds thank you very much!” Said Booner before roaring off in his Chevy Tahoe. Premier Danielle Smith said she would meet with Measle Party members to strategize a way back to the 1880’s for the province.