Washington -

 

In a desperate attempt to steer attention away from damning evidence in the Epstein Files, the Trump Administration has manoeuvred an enormous naval military build up into the Arabian Sea. “For every file that’s released we will fire a Tomahawk Missile randomly into Iran until people are so horrified that the Epstein Files will matter about as much as who killed JR!” Said a visibly agitated Stephen Miller from his crypt underneath the basement of the White House. The move has created an oddity in nation relations, however... many historical enemies of Iran quietly hoping they kick some American ass.