The Danube -

 

Fendi luggage and assorted haute’ couture debris could be seen floating in the storied river after what appeared to be what is called a double-tap missile strike. Why it was carried out on a high end Cruise company thousands of miles from any drug trafficking waters, remains a mystery. Late yesterday afternoon, at the Bordeaux tasting and tomato tart hour no less, Patriot missiles struck a ship the Whitehouse is claiming to be a drug boat headed for the U.S. mainland. In fact, Viking River Cruises is a European-based company that doesn’t have any profile in the Caribbean. When questioned by congress as to why he would order a deadly strike on allied waters, ‘Secretary of War’, Pete Hegseth immediately blamed an Admiral that he picked off a list he had handy. “If there was in fact a strike at all,” said Hegseth, “then that cruise was definitely a fentanyl boat and we have saved the lives of thousands of Americans.”