Washington -

 

Despite officially breaking up in 1995, Mega-group Dire Straits have been warned by Donald Trump not to try to “pull anything.” The warning came after a counter blockade in the Straits of Hormuz from Iran, then another counter blockade threat in the strait from Trump, leaving the 79 year-old walking in circles, screaming – “Goddamnit! I’m going to block something!! Just give me a goddamn strait to block!” Aides quickly dispatched clerks to the Whitehouse library vinyl section where they finally came up with something that would calm the ranting President. “It’s a dark day for retro rock and for world peace.” Said a snickering Gavin Newsom.