Smithers -

 

“He’s got the kind of direct, and somewhat surprising approach, we need to tackle an opponent like the Trump regime.” Said a Liberal insider. On Saturday July 26th at roughly 11am, the man, who remains nameless for security purposes, was working near Lake Kathlyn when the cougar swiftly advanced and swiped at his upper body. “This cougars behaviour is strikingly reminiscent of Trump’s tariff policy, out of nowhere and reckless, now you see it now you don’t kind of thing, designed to land maximum hurt in one shot. We think this guys instinct is perfect to fend off further attacks by a reckless predator bent on destroying us.” The cougar was seen later with its tails between its legs retreating into the bush while other cougars openly jeered it.