Washington -

 

After it was announced that the martial arts star had passed, Trump immediately called for the transfer of 2500 marines to the Gulf region. “Chuck would’ve kicked Iranian ass, now we have to do it conventionally.” Said a confused Trump from the lawn of the Whitehouse. “I thought, maybe we can get Van Damme, but he’s European, so he’s a coward. Like all Europeans, Asians, Canadians, Brits, they’re all weak and worthless, now If you’ll excuse me I have to have a nap and a pudding.”