Vancouver -

 

Fearing a backlash from his own party, the Prime Minister donned traditional first nations garb and loudly said in a deep voice “Who is this Justin you speak of?!” As he scurried off to find a cab to take him downtown and as far away from the Nanaimo as possible. “It really is the only way he can avoid the rigorous criticism and possible coup he will face if he actually attends the meeting.” Said one Liberal insider who predicted the PM’s move. “The ferries aren’t the only things that sink out here, we’re witnessing a catastrophic nosedive to the bottom for our once beloved leader.” After losing one of the longest held Liberal seats in Toronto, Trudeau has vowed to fight on for Canadians. Opposition leader Pierre Poilievre continues to measure floor space in the PM’S office and look at colour patterns.