Ottawa -

 

“I’ve never felt happier in my life!” Said the PM, when a reporter caught up in a kayak. “I don’t think anyone will really notice I’m gone. I’m going to crash at a Casino for a couple of nights then eff off to Portugal. I can call an election from anywhere. I’m not an idiot, there’s no real need for me to be there. I’m toast. Good luck with Mini-Trump you bunch of ingrates! If the Tories had been in power when Covid hit, you’d all be getting your first vaccinations about now.”