Toronto -

 

“Hey, what can we say? 3 billion pigs is no drop in the bucket even for us!” Chuckled a senior vice president at Canada Trust. “We didn’t want to raise fees but someone’s gotta pay, ain’t gonna be you know who! Another Bloody Mary?” After being found guilty of knowingly laundering an estimated 670 million in drug money, the U.S. department of justice sued TD Bank and won a settlement of 3 billion dollars. “It’s over for the little guy!” Said one drug dealer leaving the TD at Dundas and Ossington. “If I can do this for years without getting caught, how the hell did they drop the ball!” Initially TD planned a one time charge of 3 billion to recoup losses but will spread it over hard to understand small charges for all its customers.