Edmonton -

 

Alberta’s Premier tabled highly controversial legislation this week when she proposed that any Alberta citizen seeking gender reassignment or puberty blockers be put to work on the provinces 440,000 km of pipelines. “It’s time to toughen up dammit!” Screamed an unhinged Smith as reporters peppered her with questions about pro-noun use. “When its January and you’re fusing together a 12 ft. Radius chunk of steel, you won’t goddamn care if someone forgot to call you Zer!!” Smith did regain control long enough to blame Justin Trudeau for everything from high grocery prices to possibly an asteroid hitting the earth.