Ottawa –

 

“It’s for hard working Canadians who have had enough of Justin Trudeau’s disastrous policies across every spectrum of Canadian life!” Screamed a near apoplectic opposition leader. “The Conservative party, led by me, will bring Canada back to its senses, it’s colourless, monotonous, unobtrusive senses!” Party insiders deny the move was inspired by Donald Trump’s recent promotion of a 400-dollar gold sneaker in order to raise money to pay damages in a law suit. The loafer, made from a kind of polystyrene called “Poili-leather” is available at Giant Tiger exclusively. When contacted about availability, a Giant Tiger regional manager said there were plenty left, they’re next to the odor-eaters.