Toronto –

 

“We feel this is a beneficial option to Canadians who are struggling with food costs right now.” Said a senior George Weston ltd. executive, while feeding his baby sharks. “It’s fair, and it’s also a time honoured tradition to fight for food, our ancestors did it!” According to Loblaws, there will be a league with four divisions, made up of six stores each, they will compete on a daily basis until a champion emerges, who will then take on a ‘district champion’ from a competing chain, and they will fight to the death for a rump roast. “Remember, prices aren’t high because of us, it has something to do with supply and trucks? Or something like that. Anyway, my jet is waiting and I’m late, mustn’t waste fuel. It’s hard work caring for working Canadians this much.